On being stuck in a Mississauga snow-jam, by Monte Solberg

" . . . it was snowing and it was the 401 and apparently everyone in that part of the world needed to get to Mississauga right at that precise moment. So, the ride that usually takes 40 minutes actually took two and a half hours. Not that that is a bad thing. Not at all.

" . . . if the car goes off the road at [less than 30 kilometers/20 miles an hour], according to Sir Issac Newton, it is actually physically impossible to get hurt. Also, when you go less than 30, according to Einstein himself, you actually reverse the space-time continuim. So during that period I actually got younger. The bad news is, as Einstein knew only too well, you also get shorter and fatter, and your skin flares up."