Friday, February 10, 2006

Rock the Vote bottoms out

Heh. Nothing like a little schadenfreude to complete the day. I'm copying here the reasons Doug Powers enumerates for Rock the Vote's failure, but do go read the whole thing.

Rock the Vote Crumbles

Aside from the admission that the zillionaires who show up to offer Rock the Vote face time but conveniently "left the checkbook at home," the reason Rock the Vote is falling into a financial hole and their offices are now emptier than Paris Hilton's CAT scan is simple:

A) Businesses run by liberals who are dumb enough to believe in, and practice, anti-capitalism are doomed from the start (if you're going to have a fake liberal store front, it needs to be supported by capitalist joists, the way the phonies who run Ben & Jerry's ice cream do it).

B) Thankfully, there simply aren't enough idiotic liberal kids anymore. Out of those millions of young people that Rock the Vote registered, how many were "the enemy"? Republican kids go to Pearl Jam concerts, too, but don't tell anybody.

C) Rock the Vote is pushed big on MTV, which has gone from a musical lark to a horrible and mind-numbingly vacuous pop-culture train wreck. MTV's core audience are people who will never be coaxed out of their chairs on election day because odds are they're engaged in pre-show activities for that night's "Real World." Just because they registered to vote because they were drunk at a Dave Matthews concert doesn't mean they'll actually go vote, no matter how much Woody Harrelson and "Flea" from the Red Hot Chili Peppers beg them.

D) Getting people registered to vote, and assuming they will vote, is as far apart as showing people how to fill out an astronaut application form and expecting them to be on the next Space Shuttle.

E) Leftist celebrities wildly overestimate the power of their own opinion. To think that -- if Moby, Jennifer Aniston and the bald Tinkertoy from REM tell us to vote, and for whom to vote -- we lemmings will gladly leap off whatever political cliff they do, should be, and is, an insult of biblical proportions.

Can you imagine a registration drive at a Dave Matthews concert? (I've been to a couple, I almost got a contact high at one of his concerts at the Meadowlands Stadium, for crying out loud):

Dave Matthews Fan #1: Oh, man, look, a voter registration drive! I'm gonna sign up!
Dave Matthews Fan #2: Yeah, but, dude, you totally can't. You're not old enough to vote.
DMF#1: What are you talking about? I'm, like, 23. You were at my birthday. Remember, we had that excellent hash . . .
DMF#2: I know, but you're not old enough. You have to be, like, 18. [To girl at table] Right?
[Girl nods, kinda confused by their chat though]
DMF#1: But, dude, I'm twenty-three.
DMF#2: [As if delivering devastating argument] See? Exactly what I mean.
DMF#1: [Having taken pen and card from girl, starting to fill card out] Whoa! Dude! Oh, man! I see what you're saying. Miss, how can I register if I'm only 23?
Girl: [After closing her eyes and rubbing her temples] Why don't you just finish filling that out, and I'll file it for you when you're "old enough"?
DMFs: [Together] Excellent!

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